Question of the Week (series) / K-QOW No. 4

Questionmark2QUESTION: Is there a difference between “keeping it real” and “telling all your business”?

MY COMMENT:  Since high school, college, the present (here on my blog), and periods in between, I’ve always written papers and given speeches on how I see things (with some tactfulness applied where necessary).  In other words, I have no problem expressing my point of view. I think the difference between keeping it real and telling all your business actually depends on what one determines “real” to be or what that “business” happens to be.

Everyone has a conscience. Therefore, if one is comfortable with sharing a certain aspect or perhaps all things about themselves and he/she feels no shame, guilt or embarrassment in doing so, why should anyone else judge that person for being both “real” and “telling their business”?  No one is qualified to define or judge the level or degree to which a person’s particular information about themselves is “too personal” or “too much information” (TMI) to be shared with someone else. The onus is always going to be on the person sharing or telling such information; after all it is their business to tell or reveal.  To that person, he or she IS “being real”. And let’s remember: it’s often difficult for a person to slander himself so whatever that information or “business” happens to be, it is NOT up to you or me to say it should not be shared.

In my opinion and experience, “being real” is actually a personal perception and assessment. It means that person gets to determine to what degree he or she is going to be open, honest and frank with others or how freely they wish to express whatever is on the mind – and to do so without any regard for how others may perceive their thoughts. This is the issue society has had for generations when it comes to opposing free thinkers and those who are prudish about such natural things as sexuality. Society really wants to know what people are thinking but in the same light always contradicts itself by suggesting censorship of such thinking or ideas. It cannot be both ways. This is why I blog on the “free-thinker” level mindset.  People who read my blog often tell me that I write about things which others are afraid or reluctant to say. Well, that is one of the missions of this blog, Keepin’ It…REAL!; to serve not only as an outlet for my self-expression but perhaps to be helpful to those readers who might be thinking along the same lines as me but who could never put their thoughts into words. My blog covers subjects ranging from sexuality, religion, politics and music, on to general social issues and more.  I believe that we cannot ask people to “keep it real” yet expect them to bridle their passions and minds at the same time! Remember: Only the individual can define what “being real” or being open is, at least as far as anything that is about that person is concerned… and/or regarding any particular situation or event happening in that person’s life. In other words, what you or I might consider as “telling all of one’s business” may in fact be another person’s method of “being real”. We are in no position to say one way or another. We only have the choice to listen, believe it and/or ignore it; nothing more.  I say we ought to reserve such judgment of what an understands and considers as “being real”, i.e. being open, honest, and frank, (and so long as that person does not slander another person); we ought not bother classifying a person’s “realness” as “telling all their business”.

Keepin’ It…REAL!

Now, what say YOU? Post your comments below!

[Click here for K-QOW No. 1]  [Click here for K-QOW No. 2] [Click here for K-QOW No. 3]

Question of the Week (series) / K-QOW No. 3

QUESTION: What always helps to put you in a great mood?

MY COMMENT:  Listening to music or watching a television comedy, action or suspense flick helps my mood. Going to the movies helps too. Sometimes calling a friend (of which I have few) puts me in a great mood. Other times when I’m in a bad mood or stressed, I masturbate.  Sexual activity is the great de-stress or chill out activity for me.

Now, before you judge, hear me out. I do not go looking for a partner with whom to have sex. I also won’t  call on some “fuck buddy” or FWB (friend with benefits) I might know. I would never want to take out my internal frustrations on someone else. Other than the fact it takes too much time for meet up with a person, having sex with someone when I’m frustrated or pissed off is not fair to them or to me, therefore I choose to masturbate. It’s called making use of the things I already have at hand – or IN HAND, in my case! Masturbation is the one activity that, if you’re creative and (in some cases) bold, can be done anywhere if you’re not home. I’ve masturbated at school, work, church, in my car and outside. I simply put my hand down my pants and play with my cock and balls. I take in the masculine pheromone aroma of my sweaty balls, which always turns me on. I swear, someone needs to bottle that scent. Men will buy it! Trust me!  Anyway, I deeply inhale my masculine scent and let my mind wander to some past sexual experience or create a desired one as I’m about to masturbate. I might embellish certain sexual memories to enhance my sexual pleasure which makes me harder. At home, I try to do this without going through the trouble of turning on my computer and pulling up some folder where my spank bank of porn material is stashed or bringing up some porn website from my ever-growing list of  porn bookmarks. If my mind is too distracted to stay focused, then yes – I’ll result to porn. I’m a man and, like most men who masturbate, sexual stimulation often has to be visual – either in mind or sight.  When my mind is on sex, it seems to replace whatever is or has been fucking up my mood. I feel better after the orgasm for I am no longer moody or stressed out. I tend to think much clearer and am better able to continue on with my day.
Check it: Masturbation is also one of the rituals I perform a few or more times a week, particularly if I anticipate my day is – or might be met with some extremely stressful situation. I’m not saying that I will masturbate at every situation of this kind because that’s simply not practical. Still, knowing that masturbation is at least an option for me is often a relief in itself! Having a good, intense ejaculatory orgasm always clears my mind, reduces any past stress and will realign my attitude in preparation to take on or continue with the day. It is like the reset button of my brain.

Keepin’ It…REAL!

Now, what say YOU? Post your comments below!

[Click here for K-QOW No. 1]  [Click here for K-QOW No. 2]

Question of the Week (series) / K-QOW No. 2

QUESTION: Why do people, in a moment of desperation, offer to whore themselves if it means keeping you in their lives?

MY COMMENT: As a man of high standards, I could never offer – or ever accept – consistent sexual favors for any reason (no matter how good the sex may have been with that person). When people do that, I tend to think far less of them than when I first developed the opinion!

Keepin’ It…REAL!

Now, what say YOU? Post your comments below!

[Click here for K-QOW No. 1]


Question of the Week (series) / K-QOW No. 1

Welcome to a new (and possibly limited) series I’m simply calling K-QOW or Keepin’ It…Real’s Question of the Week!

Occasionally, I’ll post certain questions which come to mind (randomly or based on experience) , which people have asked me directly or which I found online on some social media (like Facebook) to which I have responded. The comments/responses to the questions are strictly my frank yet well-thought out opinion, based on personal experience, education, observation and/or discussion with others – as is most things written in this blog and, depending on the nature of the question, may even reflect some very factual, yet personal information which I felt comfortable in sharing.

Feel free to leave comments in the discussion block below but remember my rule about respect and decorum of others who post opinions which may differ from yours. There is no need to get nasty or insulting. Any comment deemed to be such will simply be removed. Let me give an advanced apology now to commentators for the words of the assholes who might eventually find their way here.

Let’s start with the series’ first question on K-QOW which comes from a Facebook friend!
QUESTION:  If a man who identifies as gay yet still desires and actively has sex with women considered a bisexual? I know a guy like this and he says he’s not.

MY COMMENT:  Here’s when we get into labels. I hate labels, yet the question on that issue is not unique.  It also goes into the issue of the concept of sexual fluidity (which I’ve talked about briefly here.

Check it: I cannot say, and no one else can ever argue, that the man (or woman) who has gay sex but also engages in sex with the opposite gender is truly bisexual. On the “outside looking in”, so to speak. most people would probably “label” such people as bisexual. Again that is on the surface. Bisexuality, like other sexual orientations involves emotions and feelings for another person; it is not necessarily about the sex act itself. This is what many ignorant people feel about homosexual or gay people. They tend to think that all gay men and women ever want to do is have sex with someone of their gender. Such people end to forget (or ignore the fact) about the feelings and emotions that are often involved in the attraction a gay (or bisexual) person may have for another.  To answer this question further, a gay man who has occasional sex with a female (or gay female with a male) is identified however that particular gay man (or woman) happens to feel. It is not how we might think or feel about that person regarding his/her sexual actions. If a gay man chooses to identify as being gay (and his natural sexual orientation has always been gay) but he likes some occasional pussy – for whatever reason, then I’d say that under the concept of sexual fluidity, only that man can set such a sexual identifier within himself. The same applies to the lesbian who likes pussy but has enjoys some dick on the side.  And the same can be said of heterosexual or straight people. Straight people are not natural oriented to same gender attractions. They identify as straight but some have been known to dabble or “experiment”  with a little homo-sex activity – on rare occasions. Of course, they often don’t tell no anyone about it but straights have been known to admit they’ve engaged in some homosexual activity yet still (and rightfully so) and again, under the concept of sexual fluidity still identify as being straight. This happens all the time!  It’s simply a matter of people liking what they like sexually. The labels need to be done away with!

Remember:  When we say/argue there is fluidity in sexuality, that  includes there being fluidity in heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality and perhaps even asexuality. Although, with regard to one who is asexual, I would imagine that would be somewhat improbable (but not impossible) since an asexual does not, as a rule or condition of birth perhaps, holds any desire to have sex or has sex often. Still it doesn’t mean that an asexual person does not or will not make certain exceptions as their physical (or limited sexual) needs demand.

People might have sex on what I’d call a “measuring degree”. For example, a bisexual person is emotionally and physically attracted to both genders but not always equally! Many are attracted or engage in sex more towards one gender than the other, making the chosen gender the more-dominant and preferable gender with which to have sex. It makes the bisexual no less bisexual if he/she meets someone of the less-dominant attraction and develops genuine feelings, emotions and sexual desire for that person. This is how many bisexual men and women can so easily marry someone opposite their gender and stay married to that person for years. Once the marriage is over, either by stalemate in the relationship, divorce or death, the options of the bisexual person is increased since he/she is no longer in a committed relationship. (Cheating bisexuals is a completely different matter.)

With regard to the homosexual, he (she) naturally will have and even prefer his (her) sex with men (women) true; but occasionally – or as a means of sometimes simply liking sex with the opposite gender, some gays or lesbians will choose to have sex with the opposite gender if they just feel like having sex. It makes him (her) no less a homosexual and it does not necessarily mean that the homosexual is in fact a bisexual person – only that the homosexual is performing in a bisexual manner. There is a HUGE difference in this activity if there are no actual feelings, emotions or attractions involved!   The gay man, the gay woman is simply meeting a physical, sexual need by any means necessary if their preferred same-sexual outlet is not available. If you happen to be in the position of having sex with someone whom you know to be gay or lesbian, you must consider yourself a tool for their sexual needs. There is no shame in that since you are providing a (hopefully enjoyable) service for both your body and that of the homosexual.  The gay guy or lesbian however, still gets to keep their “gay membership” card…and you, if naturally straight, get to keep your “straight membership” card! Just keep your damn mouth shut!

Since many gays and lesbians – and straight people too – are ignorant of the concept of sexual fluidity, they tend to selfishly frown upon members of “their kind” sexing people of the opposite (or same, if straight) gender.  Because of this, I  think it is best if that particular homosexual or heterosexual person who chooses to “color outside the lines”, simply keep their sexual proclivities quiet.  And remember: in ANY sexual activity, always be safe!

Keepin’ It…REAL!

Now, what say YOU? Post your comments below!