I’m coming out
I want the world to know
There’s a new me coming out
And I just had to live, and I wanna give
I’m completely positive
I think this time around I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it, ooh, I’ll make it through
The time has come for me to break out of this shell
I have to shout that I am coming out
I’ve got to show the world
All that I wanna be and all my abilities
There’s so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them just understand
I got it well in hand and, oh, how I’ve planned
I’m spreadin’ love, there is no need to fear
I’m coming out
– Lyrics/excerpts from the Diana Ross’s 1980 song, I’m Coming Out from the album, Diana (written by Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers)
Today is National Coming Out Day (NCOD) sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). In fact, according to HRC, today, October 11, 2013, is the 25th anniversary of National Coming Out Day! Wow. 1988. It’s hard to believe it’s been that many years for this event!
The National Coming Out Day theme this year is “Coming Out Still Matters”. You can learn more about it here. Another article about NCOD is here. The annual National Coming Out Day event is so designated to allow people to celebrate coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (including those who are pansexual and asexual) or those persons who simply want to announce that they are an ally of LGBT people.
While I don’t feel anyone has to “come out”, or has to “come out of the closet” (a term I’ve always hated) or has to reveal their sexual orientation, or that one should be dragged, made or forced out of the so-called ‘”closet”, there are however many people who either want to come out (which is fine) or who strongly feel that they should come out (which is also fine) to certain people in their lives whom they have come to have great respect and love for and/or to whom they might feel a genuine closeness.
Coming Out is Risky –
Revealing any sexual orientation other the assumed “norm” of being heterosexual (straight) is a very risky thing for that person who may be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. It is risky if that person happens to live and/or work in a city or state where being anything but heterosexual can mean a loss of employment, or loss of rank or position on some civic organization (i.e. Boy Scouts of America), community committee, a service board or excommunication from a religious organization. It is risky if that person’s family and/or neighborhood community has uneducated, close-minded, bigoted and/or strict religious (and hypocritical) views about homosexuality, bisexuality or transgenderism. It is risky if that person works or attends a school where there are co-workers and/or co-students who also carry the same or similar views as that of the person’s own family. It is risky if that person is led to bring some serious harm or danger to him/herself due to the emotional and psychological stresses of having been shunned by the people whose love, trust and respect that person thought was true and intact. Yes, telling someone that you are anything but heterosexual is not always as glorious as it seems as many people – young and old who have revealed their sexual orientation, have been learning. Many young teens have taken their own lives over the years because they came out and found that they lost the most important thing they thought they could always count on: their family’s love. My heart is sadden thinking of the number of people now gone from this world because they were rejected by others based solely on their sexual orientation. Before I continue on with this article I need to first post a link for the It Gets Better Project. Check it out. Pass the link on. You might help someone in need. The It Gets Better Project, like the Human Rights Campaign, has help, support and resources for those people who may be considering doing certain self-harming things after they were bold to take the risk to reveal their sexual identity but when they did it, only got rejection in return. Click the photo or this name: It Gets Better and know that you, that young person or any person of any age, has a wealth of support out there!
Now dear reader, I’m here to tell you that in spite of all the past naysayers, the dissenters, the haters, and those whom you and I are bound to encounter, remember that we have made the bold declaring statement – either privately or publicly that we shall be ourselves. That in itself should be – and can be very liberating! There are still a few important people in my life who don’t yet know that I’m bisexual…but… all things in their own time. I will eventually tell those people when I feel the time is right or they will find out by reading articles in this blog. Note that I said “important people in my life“. That means exactly that and it implies I don’t give a damn about what some other people might say or think of me – be they family, friend, foe or some schmuck with whom I work and/or associate and likely couldn’t give two shits about. I suggest that you – who may be planning to tell someone of your own sexuality (for reasons of your own – not because someone said you should), adopt the same attitude. Word.
So, when your best friend, a most trusted co-worker, a fellow church member or a classmate; perhaps one of your parents (yes, it happens), a sibling or some other family relative, a casual friend or even a Facebook friend tells you of their “other-than-assumed-they-were-straight” sexual orientation, please: don’t be a dick or a prude or a major asshole and suddenly look at them cross-eyed as though that person no longer existed. He or she is the same person he/she was mere seconds before speaking the words that revealed to you their sexual orientation.
The best thing you can do at that point is to simply say something like the following:
- “And? So what?”
- “That’s kool. It’s not a thing to me on how you like to get down. We’re still kool!”
- “I kinda suspected as much but figured that was YOUR business and has nothing to do with ME or our relationship (or friendship).”
- “Thank you for sharing that very personal information, my friend. I still love and respect you. I know that could not have been easy for you to do. The important thing is for YOU to be accepting of yourself, content and happy.”
You get the idea.
If you have genuine respect and/or love for that person, I’m sure you can think of other positive and supportive things to say, considering that he or she who just shared such personal information probably had a difficult time deciding whether to tell you at all. That person is trusting you not to trip out or treat him or her any differently than you have before. And trust me; that person might likely be watching you for a while to see if things change between the two of you – or with others to whom that same information was shared. My advice: Don’t make it a big deal. Try to remember that being a decent human (that is, being one with great content of character) carries far more weight that any emotional, physical or sexual attraction one might have towards his/her own gender.
Some important things to consider:
- Bear in mind that a person who “comes out” to you does NOT mean that person now wants to “wear his/her sexuality on his sleeve or forehead” or that they always want you to label them sexually (we hate labels!), or that from now on you should start thinking of them only as being “gay”, “lesbian”, “bisexual”, “pansexual”, “asexual” or “transgender”. People are so much more than a sexual label or entity!
- Forget about that person’s sexuality whenever you converse and/or carry on whatever relationship – casual or professional you might have. Carry on just as you have done before. Don’t allow things to change to the negative as a result of you learning that person’s sexual orientation.
- He or she did not lie to you. Okay…let me rephrase that: It may be very UNLIKELY that the person ever lied to you about his or her sexuality – especially if you never directly asked about it and you just assumed that he or she was straight! Personally, I do not subscribe to that bullshit “lie by omission” nonsense!! Fuck that! I say: Consider the person and the situation before jumping to any ideas, suppositions or assumptions, conclusions or judgments! I am not yet aware of any law or religious mandate that says a person has to disclose his or her sexual orientation to people. Try to consider the world we live in AND the erroneous assumption held by general society that “everyone is heterosexual… until a person says otherwise”.
- There is no need to fear that person will now be looking to make some kind of sexual advances or “pass” towards you. Chances of that happening are extremely unlikely. Coming out simply doesn’t work that way! Trust me. If any gay, lesbian or bisexual person was attracted to you, the pass at you would probably have happened long before he/she told you about their sexuality. Get real and get over yourself.
- Remember that before “the great revelation”, many of those same people were living very discreet sexual lives. It’s very likely that most of them will want to continue doing that – except this time, they can express themselves a bit more openly and freely, particularly in general conversation with you or in your presence. Many of the code words and metaphors that were used in front of you with another LGBT family member yesterday can today cease being used. Whichever the case, respect their privacy.
One last thing to think about:
The average person does not go around consistently thinking someone they know is heterosexual. I have to believe that most people walking the planet simply don’t do that. Certainly the average LGBT person isn’t going around wondering who is straight or gay. If you happen to hear that someone is or might be gay. lesbian, bisexual or transgender, please don’t start looking at that person and begin thinking or saying dumb shit like:
- “Oh-oh! Here comes Bob. He’s gay. I’d better watch how I talk to him so he doesn’t get any faggoty ideas towards me. Fuckin’ homo!”
- “Sharon is nice and all but I hear she likes chicks, not dicks. What a dyke and a complete waste of good pussy.”
- “Fuck that bisexual bullshit. Andy’s still a homo if he likes to fuck dudes. That ain’t cool that he fucks chicks too! That’s how that AIDS shit got started! And I thought he was cool until he told me he was bi. Now I know he’s going to Hell!
You see, ignorant comments like the examples above were things I’ve heard said to or about LGBT people! That kind of shit is fucked up! Stop it already! Treat everyone the way YOU would like to be thought about and treated. Ditch the damn labels and the fuck-up ignorant rumors, gossip and/or stereotypes and whatever you might THINK you know about certain things regarding any same-sex sexual orientation, attraction or activity – be it about: homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality or transgenderism. Get educated and try talking to and listening to someone other than yourself. You just might learn something and come to appreciate a thing or two about other people with whom you share this planet!
Check it: We are all human and, while sexuality is a huge part of our existence, as individuals we are still – as I just stated, more than sexual entities. Each of us should be respected, treated and judged solely by the content of our character and never by who we sleep with.
© RobFather-X! Productions. All rights reserved.
You know, a brutha tries to keep up with certain things regarding sexuality but there is only so much one can learn about everything that happens in this country, let alone the world! Certain social events, such as PRIDE-this or PRIDE-that need better promotion – that is, if the purpose of such events is to get better support, awareness and education among the masses! For example, I would have been happy to inform everyone I knew that yesterday (September 23) was Bisexual Pride Day or officially Celebrate Bisexuality Day, (among other names of this day I won’t bother to mention). You can click either of the titles to get Wikipedia information on Celebrate Bisexuality Day. I never saw a thing or promo in social media leading up to this day! It makes me wonder how many other people didn’t know. I’m not saying there were no announcements or promos; I just never saw anything! I cannot have been the only one!
CHECK IT: If such calendar events that are supposed to draw the attention of society are going to occur with the intent being to get people to support and talk about it, then PUH-LEASE… somebody needs to do a better job in getting the word out! Otherwise, it’s like someone whispering to a few folks that he’s gonna have a huge party somewhere then have some silly ass high expectation that the entire town will show up for it, only to be disappointed. Apparently no one told the bisexuals whom I know on Facebook or those on other social sources that I frequent about Bisexual Pride Day. I would have seen some buzz! Yeah…that fuckin’ day went by like a light breeze – barely noticeable! (sigh) What a major FAIL by those who are supposed to be the [outspoken] or established activists of the LGBT or stand-alone bisexual community!
Yesterday, President Barack Obama met with members from the bisexual community to discuss issues and concerns regarding bisexual people. Click Bisexual Pride Day to see clip. You may not have heard about it on the news because it was a “closed session”. Well, I guess it’s up to me to do what I do best: TEACH and INFORM! So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the bisexual colors of the Bisexual Flag and a link to my famed blog article about bisexuality, Does Bisexuality Exist? (Written/published October 2012) I also recommend this Huffington Post link if you are considering “coming out” as bisexual. It’s a very entertaining read!
Speaking of which….
Most readers of this blog know that my sexuality has never been open for discussion in this blog. There were reasons for that. However, after some intense soul-searching and knowing in my heart that 2013 would be the year of certain personal revelations and, considering how much I enjoy talking/writing about sexuality here and on Facebook, I think most readers already know or have likely suspected, “There’s something not quite straight about RobFather-X.” And… they would be right; I’m not quite straight! LOL! So there it is. Not really “coming out” but simply an affirmation of what many readers of this blog already knew or suspected: I am bisexual. I am also the very same kool muthafucka you’ve always known: yesterday, today and in the future! Deal with it! Now, as some of you also know, I don’t believe in labels or making one’s sexual orientation a big deal, therefore I ask – and would greatly appreciate – that none of you make this “revelation” a big deal either. Kool? Thanks! With that said, I feel the need to also say the following:
- Fuck it… if you seem “upset” or “surprised”, for your reaction to this non-issue should have no bearing on who I am now or was before.
- Fuck it…if you feel I’ve “lied” to you. The fact is I didn’t lie to you. And I don’t subscribe to that weak, age-old bullshit guilt-trip line people like to call a “lie by omission”. Fuck that…especially if you’ve never once asked but instead did what so many other people tend to do: assume everyone is heterosexual or straight until they tell you or you happen to witness otherwise. Also, consider the fact that I must have had several reasons which I thought were valid (to me) for not disclosing my sexuality. One of those reasons is that I have always been – and am – private and discreet about my sexuality. I simply see no reason to broadcast it. Outside of this blog, I shall continue to conduct myself in that manner.
- Fuck anyone…. who is offended or bothered by my sexuality. That’s more your problem than it will ever be mine.
Read my blog article Does Bisexuality Exist? and the Huffington Post link and learn a thing or two. Oh… and from one proud bisexual to others reading, Happy belated Bisexual Pride Day! Let’s hope next September 23 the media memo about this equally important Pride event gets wider dissemination!
©2013 RobFather-X! Productions. All rights reserved.
When it comes to discussions of sexuality, I continue to be amazed at people who often take deeply personal a hypothetical or what-if scenario/situation. To some degree, I can understand why this tends to happen. I can also appreciate people saying what they would or would not do in a given sexual situation – although in reality, no one can ever say with any degree of certainty what it is they would do/not do until they are presented with a particular circumstance.
It’s fine for people to give their first or initial thoughts on hypotheticals but while the first thought is usually the most honest, it has certain limitations for often it is based solely on the current experiences, knowledge/education, personal morals and beliefs of that person. I like to challenge people with the “two people – of the same gender – stranded on an island” hypothetical scenario. Under this scenario, where I purposefully choose people of the same gender (just to make it interesting), I explain [or rather prove] how new experiences often can cause a person to change or modify their previous thinking and beliefs and the probable actions one might take in a given situation, proving that rarely are there any absolutes about anything when it comes to certain things, especially with sexuality.
There are people who always apply certain hypotheticals/what-ifs to themselves and/or their lives in such a personal manner that they either ignore or forget that the hypothetical question or situation presented to them is only meant to challenge their imagination and broaden their thinking; it’s not meant to do anything more. Sexual hypotheticals/what-if scenarios do not invade one’s personal life or privacy. Given responses or answers to questions asked are never meant to give anyone some firm indication or implication that a person will necessarily perform, might perform or even want to perform some activity mentioned in the hypothetical/what-if scenario. In effect, such answers would be (or rather should be) considered conjecture; simply an opinion based on incomplete information, not facts or actuality, since the person is responding to a what-if situation. It could be a long-term hidden fantasy or desire of the respondent but answering the questions given does not necessarily prove anything. This is especially important to note when such questions and answers are presented/given in the company of people with whom everyone is – for the most part, a stranger, such as in a college classroom or public forum environment. For obvious reasons, many people are comfortable in such settings; they feel they won’t be judged as harshly by strangers than they would by the people they know, which is why such environments are the best in which to exercise hypotheticals/what-if scenarios.
In discussions and debates regarding sexuality, I’ve been challenging people for years to open their minds and let their imagination run free regarding various things related to sex and sexuality. My intent is to get people to understand that human sexuality is fluid; meaning, it is capable of flowing in any mental or emotional direction depending on the individual. I do not believe it has strict absolutes. I believe sexuality is subject only to the imagination, desires and limitations of the human mind and emotional attraction. Sexuality has far too many variables, inconsistencies, mediums and extremes to be assigned some number or range on the renowned Kinsey Scale or some absolute sexual assignment labels such as “heterosexual/straight” “homosexual/gay” or “50/50 or bisexual for it to be considered as a strict absolute or some kind of black and white, hot or cold or soft or hard entity of physically intimate pleasure.
NOTE: Contrary to the “equally heterosexual/equally homosexual” rating/level noted on the Kinsey Scale, factually, most (if not all) bisexual people do not base their sexual attractions and emotions on a level that clear and cut. Although there is SOME CLOSENESS to an even or equal attraction to both genders, most bisexual people lean more towards being straight than gay while others lean more towards being more gay than straight. (See my article Does Bisexuality Exist?)
Because I understand human imagination, particularly when it comes to human sexuality, I try to diminish the prejudices, stereotypes and myths which many heterosexual or straight people tend to have in thinking or believing that certain sexual interests or activities are “exclusively done” by homosexual people. I seek to erase the notion that no straight person would ever engage in – or think of engaging in any sexual activity considered to be – or believed to be homosexual or gay in nature. The belief of some straight people seems to be this: no bona fide straight person wants to admit or will ever admit to doing or having done any particular sex act which they personally – or perhaps someone else, might consider to be “gay” since it might be some indicator to friends/family that the straight person doing the sex act or expressing a desire to do the sex act, could himself be a homosexual.
Examples of the interests or activities which many straight people naïvely think of as being “gay” or “done by gays only” – but which in fact, many straight people have also been known to do would include:
- complimenting or playful teasing another member of the same gender on the look/appearance of their nude body, breasts or genitals
- engaging in sports or playful activities in the nude with members of the same gender
- watching pornography with members of the same gender
- mutual masturbation or having a “circle jerk” with members of the same gender
- masturbating to the sound or visual images of a member of the same gender having homosexual or heterosexual sex
- anilingus – the enjoyment of, or having a desire to perform the act
- self-fellatio (sucking your own penis)
- tasting or ingesting one’s own seminal or vaginal fluids
- men who enjoy the stimulation of their anus during masturbation or when having sex with their female partner
- men who own and use dildos for anal stimulation during masturbation
- being a nudist/naturist or an exhibitionist (there is a difference between the two)
- visiting nude beaches and colonies or participating in exhibitionist events
- touching the nude body and/or genitals of someone of the same gender during a group sex activity (almost impossible NOT to do in that environment)
- platonically kissing a member of the same gender out of respect, love and brotherly affection (occurs often in other countries)
- sharing a random homosexual thought or fantasy but not acting on it
(Many straight people have homosexual thoughts on occasion but are never driven to act on them!)
- the heterosexual person engaging in a homosexual sexual activity:
NOTE: Usually experimental but sometimes intentional: can occur under a variety of circumstances. While the sexual activity is homosexual, engagement does not make or imply that the heterosexual person is bisexual or homosexual.
- the homosexual person engaging in a heterosexual sexual activity:
NOTE: Usually experimental but sometimes intentional; can occur under a variety of circumstances. While the sexual activity is heterosexual, engagement does not make or imply that the homosexual person is bisexual or heterosexual.
I believe and have argued for decades that sexual orientation is a natural gene assignment with which people are born. It is not something people choose as their natural sexual drive and attraction. A person cannot “pray away” or be psychologically driven from his/her natural sexual orientation any more than one’s skin color can be “prayed away”. It simply does not work. A person can suppress feelings and attractions for someone of the same gender (which is the same as denying one’s true nature) but the feelings do not go away. It is a part of who that person is. People are born to be one of the following sexual orientations: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual while some are born feeling that they should be the opposite of their physical gender.
**Note about transgender people (of which one of my older brothers happens to be [male to female]: all transgender people are not gay.
Prudish heterosexual people, particularly many of those who happened to be narrow-minded or close-minded persons of color, need to accept the fact that as young boys and girls reach adolescence, they develop certain sexual curiosities. They do things like self-caressing, light touching and playing with their genitals as they explore sensuality and experiment with various forms of sexual self-stimulation, which often includes or supplements masturbation. Sometimes adolescents will do this with close and trusting friends who might have the same interests or who have had some sexual experience. I would find it almost laughable if it weren’t a damn shame that so many people to whom I’ve talked, acted as if they had never done anything of the sort when they were kids. Well, it is exactly because of the ignorance of people – feigned or otherwise, which prompted the writing of this article.
I’ve had many discussions or debates related to sexuality with so-called “grown folk”, some who claimed themselves to be “sexual freaks”. A “sexual freak” – or simply “freak”, is supposed to be that male or female who is ready and willing to engage in some nasty, unorthodox things sexually. Let me inform readers not to be put off by the term “freak” in this sense since it really means and implies nothing except perhaps to the person with whom the so-called “freak” is having sex with. It’s nothing but hype and bravado to illustrate someone’s hugely exaggerated sexual prowess.
I have experienced situations where a discussion of certain sexual topics degraded from being that of fun and interesting to sheer rudeness, irritation and implied judgments. For example, I’d present certain hypotheticals or what-if scenarios to the discussion floor. Depending on who is participating in said discussion and/or what the question or hypothetical challenge happens to be, there usually would always be that one person, sometimes two or more, who would forget themselves and become highly defensive or offended – as though I had touched some nerve in their psyche, had tried to convince them to try some sexual activity or suggest that they do something against their will – when I give follow-up questions to their comments or responses. It wouldn’t be long before those particular people began introducing their personal or social mores and religious rhetoric into the hypothetical/what-if scenario itself, forgetting or ignoring the basic understanding of what a hypothetical situation or what-if scenario is developed to be! When hypothetical/what-if scenarios are presented, they cannot be changed or modified (except by the originator) otherwise, the entire hypothetical/what-if scenario is pointless.
When presenting a hypothetical situation or what-if scenario, I listen carefully to what people say in response and how they say it. I’m listening for unsure hesitations, exaggerations, contradictions and certain other signs that might make the person look or appear vulnerable which might serve as an opening for me to ask certain follow-up questions. In my experience, I have met people of various sexual orientations who are very comfortable with their sexuality and with sharing sexual experiences. Some are flexible in their thinking and have little to no problem with follow-up questions or participating in hypothetical/what-if scenarios, while others tend to be more adamant or stubborn. In my view, many people who are open-minded and have several years of sexual experience seem far less judgmental of those who admit to having experimented with certain things sexual or expressing a desire to do things related to sexuality. Many open-minded people tend to be more educated (although degree levels are not necessarily proof of one’s education about certain things), have traveled to various parts of the country and the world, have more experience by a measure of years in life and tend to have a “to each his own”, non-judgmental mentality. I tend to favor and give serious validation to such people for I am one of them.
Certain hypotheticals or what-if scenarios can often mirror a person’s own experiences or sometimes, a person can relate to the hypothetical, being that they too, have had a similar real-life exposure or experience or perhaps a fantasy of the details of that particular hypothetical situation/what if scenario. Some people have admitted that drugs or alcohol played a vital role in lowering or helping to lower their sexual and/or moral inhibitions. For some, those influences never caused one to get to the point of making that user completely unaware of what was actually happening to or around them. I’ve spoken with people who have enjoyed sharing stories of their sexual experience. Some of those people are or were either married, single, in long-term relationships, swingers, polyamorous, a fuck buddy, a “friend with benefits” (FWB), straight, gay, bisexual or pan sexual; they were either White, Black, Hispanic, Latino or of Asian decent and had come from a variety of professions and occupations. Some have educational levels ranging from high school to doctorates, while others were members of either the high, middle and low economic class. I mention this only to show that when it comes to sexuality, the diversity pool of open-minded people is real and it is awesome!
As we develop and participate in hypothetical situations and what-if scenarios, let’s remember that ideally people in society should not – or rather are not supposed to judge others for their sexual ideas, thoughts, desires and fantasies. Although we make tolerances to the closed-mindedness of certain religions and their rhetoric on sex-related “sinful thinking”, we do not [as of yet] live in an Orwellian society – nor should such an environment ever be created or implied where one cannot feel free to express or share his or her thoughts and fantasies in a respectful manner in the company of peers and like-minded individuals.
Check it: An awesome phrase I often live by (as it reflects my line of thinking) was written and spoken by the awesome funk recording artist Prince – some twenty-four years ago, in his song Electric Chair featured on the 1989 Batman original motion picture soundtrack (OMPS). Prince writes:
If a man is considered guilty
4 what goes on in his mind
Then give me the electric chair
4 all my future crimes
Prince’s idea is that people have thoughts and fantasies of all kinds of things! They should not be judged for thinking or mentally creating them! In my interpretation of the song, Prince implies that he cannot be the only one with the things he’s been thinking about. Even if he were, he ought not to be judged for having his thoughts, for he will continue to have them… and many more! Prince implies that his thoughts may be of things with which other people might not necessarily agree or even enjoy. In effect, he is saying: “You might as well kill me now, for as I continue to live, so shall I continue to think; to use my imagination, no matter where it will take me.”
In the song Electric Chair, Prince never once implied that he would actually make his thoughts a reality – although any thought can become a reality! Prince demonstrates his free-thinker attitude when he goes on to say:
U whispered something
It took my mind out like a
G flat major with an E in the bass
Your face looked so good
I wanted to touch your mouth
My brain is jackin’ all over the place
Again, Prince sees an object of sexual desire but – rather than take any physical action, or acting on the desire, he explains what he wants to do and how his mind is affected and is going crazy over the idea or the fantasy of actually performing the desires of his heart and mind!
As the song nears the end, Prince repeats a few lines from the first stanza of the song:
I saw your friend 1st
That’s who I danced with
All the time I was watchin’ u (I was watchin’ u)
The music rocked us
Our lives shocked us
Makin’ us see a trippy picture shoo
Here again, (in my interpretation) Prince is expressing his fantasy – brought on by what he sees. In this stanza – which is a repeat of the first in the song Electric Chair, Prince implies that his fantasy is apparently in sync with that of the person to whom he is looking; Prince assumes that the person looking back at him has the same fantasy! This is an example of mental FANTASY at work! This is an example of a simple hypothetical situation or a what-if scenario at play in the human mind! It MEANS NOTHING and IMPLIES NOTHING in terms of any actual physical action/interaction…that is until such time – if ever, the fantasy becomes a REALITY.
Now, I’ve used one song to explain what people ought to be doing in terms of using their imagination in sharing a sexual fantasy and in understanding a sexual hypothetical/what-if scenario. When presented with a sexual hypothetical or what-if scenario which you feel is offensive, or when asked if you’ve ever had a fantasy about “X”, or in doing “X”, stop to think before getting defensive and reacting negatively with your mouth. If you have never fantasized about doing “X” then simply say nothing… or respond with, “No, it never crossed my mind…” and LEAVE IT THERE! To say anything else or to give some reason(s) for why someone else would or should not ever do “X”, or to raise some personal and/or religious reasons for why someone else should not think about doing “X”, is to place yourself above others as being a self-righteous, self-appointed judge or critic of the persons who have chosen to participate in the hypothetical/what-if scenario and who simply wish to share their personal and/or known experiences or desires. As far as I’m concerned, judging people for wanting to express themselves in this manner is WRONG! When it comes to a sexual hypothetical situation/what-if scenario, that’s about as real as it gets!
© RobFather-X! Productions. All rights reserved.