Christmas is OVER!

christmas-is-over

FINALLY!!! Christmas Day is OVER and is DONE!!!

Now, each of you who had worked so damn hard to fake being nice and sweet and “filled with Christmas joy and cheer” can begin reverting to your regular, better-known and much-easier-to-recognize (and appreciate) asshole-ish selves.

And please, try to do it before the year is out. Seriously.
Thanks!

– RobFather X

Campaign 2016: Debate Moderation

When you’re damn serious about political debate moderation you don’t fuck around with hiring soft-spoken, timid and/or easily intimidated men and women to serve as debate moderators. Nah…fuck that.
You get… Samuel L. Jackson!samuel-l-jackson-debare-moderator-robz-edit

– RobFather X

Crazed Without Your Morning Coffee?

*Sigh* I realize this video clip – while seemingly misogynistic, is humor. Of course it is. Still, it gives me cause to express a few things that came to mind while watching this somewhat-funny video clip.

You see, out of the few females to whom I am related (e.g., my foster mothers, sisters, nieces and cousins) and out all of the females whom I either lived with, dated, had for fuck-buddies or the one to whom I was once married, none were morning coffee drinkers – at least they weren’t around me. That worked well for me because I am not a coffee drinker and very much abhor the odor of scented brown water cooking in the morning. Thus, I’ve never met any female (or any male, for that matter) who acted like the woman in the video; persons who for years I’ve been calling “crazy mandatory morning coffee drinking muthafuckas”. Now, as far as the early menstrual cycle days of those females so mentioned is concerned, I think this video holds a great deal of humorous truth. *chuckles*

BTW: I don’t hate people who drink coffee. However, many of them who “simply need” or who “have to have” their morning coffee each day “just to get their day started”, tend to get on my goddamn nerves with their “I gotta have my morning coffee or my day… along with that of everyone else, will be fucked if I don’t!” childish rants, behavior and attitude. Yes, I said it; and I’m not apologizing if anyone reading this article happens to take offense. Consider that I have probably held my attitude against those “crazy mandatory morning coffee drinking muthafuckas” a lot longer than some of those [who have chosen to take offense] have been drinking it! I certainly am not going to change it now.

– RobFather X

 

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© RobFather X! Productions

I’m Bored As Fuck!

I’m at work monitoring yet another boring Detroit Tigers baseball game. I hate radio broadcasted baseball. In fact, I hate any radio broadcasted sports… with a passion! I always have. You see, I’m not that into sports. There are certain sports that I either need to see on TV or be physically present at the game in order for me to gain some degree of appreciation to what’s going on. I’m just glad that sports programming isn’t the only content we air at the stations where I work or I’d left this job years ago!

Fuckin' Bored (1)So as the title of this article says, I’m bored as fuck. Or am I just fuckin’ bored? Is there any significant difference between someone being bored as fuck and being fuckin’ bored? Who the fuck knows! It’s boring just to think about answering that fuckin’ question! Fuck; it was boring just typing it here! Yet strangely, it wasn’t boring when the question formed in my head. Go figure! I suppose that’s a good thing and could mean that a part of my brain isn’t [yet] affected by boredom.
Wait a minute.
That’s getting psychologically deep. Me thinking and rationalizing right now is, well…fuckin’ boring!

Fuckin' Bored (3)When I’m bored like this I don’t feel like doing shit, especially boring shit! I got plenty of rest last night but that’s because I didn’t have sex with someone. [Fuck!]  I’m not sick or recovering from any illness. Yet for some reason, I simply don’t want to do a goddamn thing. Nothing at all. Nada! I think the word that best describes me right now is lethargic. Don’t front or judge me: we’ve all been a “victim” of lethargy more times than we care to admit!

RobFather-X at workIf I had to do a medical self-diagnosis I’d say the reason for my boredom right now is being here, in the radio station, alone with no one to talk to and having to give some half-ass attention for my cues from the originating network of this boring baseball game to air my station’s spots or for me to make some public service announcement.
(NOTE: a “spot” is radio jargon for the word “ad” or “commercial”.)

Bored as I am right now I wonder who gives a flying fuck about me being bored, or in why I’m bored or in my particular degree of boredom.
Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

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A question for you, dear reader:
Are YOU bored? If you’re reading this then obviously you are bored – or perhaps you are just a boring fuck who gets off from reading about the boredom of other people who hate being bored.
Why don’t you go play with yourself? Sex is always on my mind so that particular suggestion was the best I could come up with for you to go do; that is, if Male, female masturbating (RFXP new edit)you’re bored. Although I’m alone at work, I love my job too much to ever risk someone coming into the station and seeing me (not catching me – for I’m never ashamed to masturbate in front of other people) sexually pleasuring myself. No, I’ll just wait until I get home to do that, thank you very much. However friend; you go right ahead and do it. Rub one out and shoot a good cum load or vaginal gush …for me. That way at least one of us bored muthafuckers won’t be bored; unless of course, when you play with yourself, the act of masturbating itself is, well…boring. If that’s your issue please don’t expect me to feel sorry or pity for you.

That would be…boring. 🙂

Keepin’ It…REAL!

Mother Nature, Father Time and Spring

Spring Season in MichiganSpring. The first day of it is here; that is, if you follow the calendar date.

Early in my young adult life I’ve learned to not follow any calendar date for the beginning and ending of seasons on this planet. I suppose that’s because at age nineteen I began spending that life in military service where, for the next twenty years, I would live and/or travel to various parts of my country and throughout the world and experience differing time zones and climates. Damn the calendar date of when a season was set to begin or end. The question: Who is Man, this mortal creature who is powerless to control the very elements and weather around him, to dare make such a determination for when a season of Nature is to begin or end?
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Perhaps many centuries ago, recorded history shows that Man was near or on target with his predictions for when the changes of season would occur. However, in my lifetime – and perhaps some generations prior to my birth, records of various global changes reflect things happening on the earth that are altogether different thus somewhat proving how Man has been off target with his scientific season predictions for many years! As such, I ignore media hype about the “first day” or “last day” of any particular season. I think we all should let Nature do her thing and remove from our calendars such planned schedules of the seasons. But enough about all that! According to the calendar *snicker*, today – March 20th, is the “first day” of SPRING, baby! That means that in some parts of the world – or at least here on the upper part of the Western Hemisphere, we can look forward to warmer temperatures to arrive…uh …soon.

Mother Nature and her Children, The Seasons –
Mother Nature follows no calendar of Man. She simply prepares parts of the world as she sees fit (just like a woman). Is it any wonder we call her Mother Nature in the first place? Surely, she knows best. While Nature often works in concert with her husband – the respected, yet sometimes ignored (by both Nature and Man) entity we call Father Time, Mother Nature (illustration)Nature in her own way looks at each “room” of the world and determines whether she should heed Time’s plan and schedule for when one of their children, the Seasons named Spring, Summer, Autumn (aka Fall) and Winter, should stay put, be sent in specified “rooms” or parts of the earth or be allowed to roam free wherever. Sometimes Nature allows one or two of her children to play in specially selected areas of the earth while other times, she might allow all four of them to play – but in careful rotation. Remember: Nature rarely ever allows all four of her Season children to play in all areas of the world at the same time. Sometimes this is a good thing (for Man) and other times…well, she just has her reasons (just like a woman). If at least two of the Season children play in or near the same area around the same time, it is Man who is adversely affected by the disasters that often occur. If you don’t know this to have some truth then you haven’t been paying attention to what’s been happening on the planet Earth over the last few decades. That ignorance might also mean you didn’t pay attention in science class in school, to the weather media or that you might be too young to be reading this blog!

Father Time –
It is Mother Nature, not Father Time, who determines when, where and for how long one of their four Season children should play on parts of the Earth. You see, Father Time has equally important things to do and look after – some of which is not popular, pretty or appreciated by Man. Let me break this down:
Think about man-made expressions like: timely manner, timely fashion, timely death or birth, timely happenings or occurrences, not enough time, too much time, equal amount of time and the sort. Think about man-made things like: clocks, calendars, schedules and planners. Father Time (illustration)Also consider man-made words like: due, past due, overdue, late, lateness, and tardy. Finally, consider entities like: seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years and the like. All of those are the illegitimate children of Father Time and/or Man. Mother Nature had nothing to do with all that which is exactly why her job is easy – to some degree. Man sometimes makes Nature’s job hard because since his existence, he has been in constant battle with Mother Nature in that he is always trying to wrest control of the..uh, natural order of things. But Nature is usually fair, kind and resilient. In her wisdom she knows that it is to her advantage that she and Father Time – and that meddling stubborn mortal creature called Man, work together in harmony for the benefit of all living things. Of course Man still uses science to predict when Nature will do something. What he (Man) always fail to realize is that, like Father Time, Man is always planning and predicting and usually not being carefully mindful or respectful of Mother Nature – who already has something “cooking in the kitchen”.Nature angry When men act that way – even with the best intentions, it can piss off even the most patient of women. Mother Nature is no different. Thus the adage, “Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned (or ignored).” Many of us have seen, heard or unfortunately experienced the effects of a pissed off Mother Nature. Finally, both Father Time and Man always forget that Mother Nature will allow daughter Spring – and her other three children, to play in certain areas of the world when she (Nature) is damn good and ready. (Again, damn whatever the calendar says about the arrival of some season! Remember; the calendar date of a season is set by Man and Father Time’s schedule; it is not Mother Nature’s schedule!) Since it’s “officially” Spring by Man’s calendar, and since we are having longer daylight hours, I must make a brief digression.

Daylight Saving Time –
Many people complain whenever we change between living under Standard Time to Daylight Saving Time (DST) and back again. Our country’s return to Daylight Saving Time (DST) last week (March 9th) had many people expressing their semiannual whining of how their personal schedules were “all fucked up” and how they “now have to get used to the time change”. Poor time managmentGive me a fuckin’ break! It’s only a change by one hour! Some of our fellow citizens wonder why the United States bothers to observe or participate in DST. I’m often amazed how much I was taught in school versus what younger people are not taught in school anymore. With the internet, all one has to do is “Google” the history or origin of Daylight Saving Time here in America and BAM!! The information is right there for any person with any decent literacy skill to read. Here you go: I’ve done the work for you! Just click The History of Daylight Saving Time and learn a thing or two about Daylight Saving Time. Much of what is written at the link was taught to me back in the late 1960’s/early 1970s when I was in elementary school!

Many of the people who childishly complain about our semiannual one-hour time shift must have poor time management skills. That’s about the only reason I can think of for why they complain about the time shift twice a year. Perhaps some of them have never lived or traveled through multiple time zones. Perhaps they have never had to move to and live in various parts of the country or the world where they had to adjust their clocks. AA011327Perhaps they’ve never allowed for the gradual adjustment of their internal body clock to become accustomed to time changes. Depending on where one lives or has to travel, the shift is at least an hour or two difference either way. Simply go to bed earlier or take a nap. I don’t know what problem other people have with the twice-a-year time shift (other than poor time management as noted earlier). I’m simply thankful and fortunate that military service has allowed me the experience of various time changes which only came by the necessity and nature of my job as a military serviceman at the time. I simply adapted and learned how to make adjustments. That experience has helped me to respect and appreciate the benefits of having DST in the U.S. especially when we revert to standard time later in the year.
Ok, digression over.
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I was inspired to write this humorous article regarding my thoughts about seasonal changes by an article written by my friend and fellow blogger Roger P. On his blog, A Guy Without Boxers, Roger describes in excellent detail the meaning of what the dawn and presence of the season of Spring means. It’s a very positive and upbeat article; one in which I totally feel him on – EXCEPT of course, the date of it being Spring. Sorry Roger and fellow readers but I’m sticking to Mother Nature’s schedule and will wait until she allows her daughter Spring to actually arrive here in the Midwest.

Spring flowersAs Roger so amply described, the season of Spring will allow us to see the gradual change of the seasons. However in my area, I think that if Spring is in fact here (by the calendar date) then she must be working on her father’s (Time) schedule and not that of her mother (Nature). That also means she’s playing with her brother Winter at the same time here in the Midwest. Until Winter is called in by Nature, Spring won’t be allowed to blossom and fully do her thing. In fact, I don’t expect Spring to truly manifest herself in my area for at least a few weeks more.

As far as I’m concerned, Nature’s son Winter is still here in Saginaw, Michigan and the rest of the Midwest.2014 Spring Outlook In recent weeks and up to this day, we have been experiencing various degrees of winter temperatures. There have been day temperature highs ranging on average between 30 and 47 degrees and night temperature lows ranging on average between 20 degrees down to 6 degrees. This varies throughout Michigan and the rest of the Midwest. Earlier this morning I read on the Weather Channel that the East Coast is expected to get hit with a major cold air snap and/or a snow storm next week. (Reference here)House in Saginaw,MI (3) That sure as hell doesn’t sound like kid Winter is about to take a hike! According to Father Time and Man’s calendar, it is March 20th and Time’s daughter Spring is here. Yeah, right. So is her brother, Winter since I still see a sea of white when I look out my window and I have to wear long sleeves, a sweater, and put on a winter coat with knit hat and gloves before I go out!

I don’t know about anyone else but so long as it’s freakin’ cold here, especially at night. I can still freeball but I can’t trim down the hairs on my ballsac just yet or break out the flip-flops and sleeveless t-shirts. Oh, but I can still stay naked in my warm home!

P.S. A hearty happy Spring to all my readers …and especially to my naked blogging brother, Roger P. of A Guy Without Boxers. Thanks for your unique welcome of Spring and for the inspiration to write this article!Spring running,flowers

Keepin’ It…REAL!