Keepin’ It Real About…ANY New Year!

Life's issues and 2014

While many of you are talking smack about “putting 2013 [shit] behind you”, Some of us are – and will STILL be – carrying 2013 shit into year 2014! Some of us are still dealing with 2013 – and perhaps the same shit from the year – or years before, up to and including the very last fuckin’ day and hour of the current goddamn year. So fuck you and your sense of a positive outlook for 2014! Now, don’t get me wrong; it’s all well and good that you have such sweet expectations for the new year; fuck, nearly everyone seems to catch that new year fever – each and Christmas/X-Mas holiday season. That new year fever reaches its peak in the waning days of each December. To that, I say; Keep those damn new year germs to yourself!

RobFather-X (15)You see, the rest of us more reality type folks will still have to continue to take one muthafuckin’ day at a time in dealing with our respective issues/problems and concerns – regardless of the change in the number of the year. We can only do what we can – as we can and are realistically able, to find and/or create certain satisfactions or achieve that sense of relief to our respective issues and problems. If you think this message is negative, you’re free to take it as such. If you are a regular reader of this blog then you already know that I don’t give a flyin’ fuck whether anyone thinks I’m being positive or negative in the content of anything I write here. In America, everyone is free to write or start their own blog. Take it for action and good luck with that. Meanwhile, and in the here and now, many of my readers know damn well that what I’m spittin’ in this article is the truth! No matter how it may sound or appear, I speak from reality as I see it and as I know it to be. While I can certainly tell a good story, when it comes to the real world, I tend to save fantasy for the non-fiction, comic book and science fiction writers! Most readers of this article fully understand what I’m saying and won’t take my words as being negative or positive because they know that it is all a matter of personal perception.

There are people – good people, Depressed man sitting-3who will be carrying their issues/problems and concerns of the year 2013 – and those from the year before or of past years, well into year 2014. Such problems do not magically go away with some damn “New Year’s resolution!” There are people who still have to deal with a host of shit come January and well into – if not beyond, year 2014. We cannot ignore the fact that someone, perhaps a neighbor or someone close to us, just might be recovering from, putting the final closure on or perhaps finally accepting things such as: a breakup in a long-term relationship, a divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a home or job, a relapse with some addiction, a pending trial or incarceration – particularly for a crime they didn’t commit, or news of some dreadful, awful disease they contracted or which has begun to manifest itself. You just never know what a person is going through! The only thing people in those situations have is hope… for a better and less painful day each and every time Depressed woman-2they wake up. However sometimes, even hope is not enough. People need more – and many of them deserve more and deserve better! Often a kind word that is written or spoken or better yet, a personal visit is all that is needed – particularly if it is done more than once a month or a few times throughout the year if possible. An offer to help – and actually helping is also always appreciated! It is enough that people have a certain sense of mental and spiritual (not religious!) strength and reassurance to keep going and a desire to keep on living as they seek to overcome each and every obstacle in their lives. It is enough that sometimes people must try hard to believe that they will survive as they try hard to not give up their fight while dealing with their problems and concerns.

While I use the word “they” in this article, I am in fact, speaking of each of US! Each one of US has issues/problems and concerns. We might hide them from others but we can’t hide them from ourselves or that person we see in the mirror – if we just stare long angry-black-manenough in the eyes of that reflection! Keep in mind that certain problems which may seem trivial to you may be the most important concern in the life of someone else. Do not dismiss that so easily until you have lived that particular person’s life! Do not ever tell someone how they should feel or how not to feel – particularly if you don’t know that person well or have never experienced the same problems and concerns – and have conquered them! No one has the power to simply direct or control the feelings and emotions of another person. You can however, have an affect on how one feels with certain words you use, in how you use such words, in the tone of your voice and/or with your body language. Do not ever tell someone who shares a problem with you to “man up”, “woman up” or to “get over it”! That’s disrespecting who that person is as an intelligent and civilized human being; one with FEELINGS, EMOTIONS and a CONSCIENCE. You don’t get the right to say such things. As I just mentioned, unless you know that person very well …or have some intention of losing a friend and/or possibly making an enemy, I suggest taking good care in what and how you say certain things where that person is concerned! Personally, if anyone were to say those sorts of things to me, they’d lose a friend and gain an enemy in less than a heartbeat!

With that said, I will further add that you save your empty “I’ll pray for you” bullshit and other weak-ass, do-nothing sentiments. They don’t do a damn thing to help or console anyone, especially the “I’ll pray for you” sentiment. In my view, prayers are just another nude man praying-3 2014way of thinking to one’s self the things one would say to some supreme being believed to have power to change or help that person’s situation or which that person would like see happen towards the dismay of someone else.
Click Praying for 2014 – Not! to read the article that explains my feelings about prayer.

Speaking for those of US who are dealing with issues and matters that hit us this year, and/or which were carried over from last year (2012) and perhaps years prior, I say…don’t be so quick to give thoughtless empty sentiments and offers to pray for someone unless you are prepared to back up or support such sentimental word up with some meaningful and tangible action and unless you are…

  • willing to give us a decent paying job – one withunemployment-usa benefits and affordable medical, dental and vision care;
  • willing to come to our homes and care for our  kids overnight – while we go work some six to eight-hour overnight shift at some part-time job that pays next to nothing;
  • willing to give, not loan us the money needed to help payour rent or mortgage or perhaps a utility bill for the month;
  • willing to loan us that working second or third car – that’s just sitting unused in your garage so that we don’t have to stand in the cold and wetness of winter waiting to catch a bus to get to work and back home;
  • willing to help pay for our bills to creditors past-due-bills2whom we once were successfully paying on our own but due to loss of job or reduction in income, we now can no longer pay;
  • willing to bring us and/or our family, a cooked meal – and to SIT and DINE with us and understand the fact that we want to be treated with dignity and respect, too! Do not merely drop a meal or a check in front of our door and walk away. While appreciated, there is little to no dignity or respect found in such “parting gifts”. And if you are as “Christian” as you say and would have people see and believe, then you’ll remember that Jesus himself dined with people considered the worse of the worse in his society. Nowhere in the biblical New Testament will you find that Jesus partied with the wealthiest people or that he dropped off some food or charity blessing and walked away.
  • Finally, stop looking down on and judging those of us who have never had a taste of the “good life” – such the homeless and destitute in your city and Homeless veterans in the U.S. scalethroughout our country and around the world. You don’t know our story. Stop looking down on and judging those of us who, once a upon a time, DID have a means to live a reasonably comfortable life, obey the law, paid our taxes and who were once content financially until now – due to hardships – such as an unexpected layoffs or loss of a job, an unexpected change in personal or family member’s health/medical situation or in our familyHomeless people camp functioning. Whether our situation is temporary or permanent, the fact is, as of RIGHT NOW, we can no longer have and enjoy the life in which many of you reading this tend to take for granted. Try to remember that while most of us wouldn’t wish our respective plight upon our worst enemy, our situation could very well happen to YOU someday. Count your blessings, quit bitching about and over bullshit matters, then count your blessings again!!

Keep all of this in mind as each of you prepare to party out year 2013. Keep all of this in mind as you make those empty resolutions and tell yourself – and a host of other nosy people who just want to know your business but couldn’t care less about what you do with your life – the many lies on what it is you “resolve to do” in year 2014. However, since many of you have already made new year’s resolutions – with a “promise” to yourself to “stick to it this time”, then you won’t mind some advice on how to succeed in keeping those resolutions. Here it is:
The BEST way to begin or take on any new venture, at any given time – not just at the start of some new year, is to start or take that venture a small bit at a time. No man can easily and instantly stick a dry dick into a dry pussy. Lubrication, time and a little patience has to be applied or the entire effort and the first, second or third attempt will be a fuckin’ waste of your time – which usually results in you wanting to give up that particular venture!

In addition to hoping that each of our respective personal issues get resolved quickly, efficiently and effectively, my only other desire for 2014 is that we each continue to have and maintain good health and a sense of humor about certain things in this life; and that we each get to meet more loyal, honest, respectable, non-judgmental, kind, caring, loving and “down-to-earth” people; and that we each are willing and able to dump or avoid all the fake, fickle and fraudulent people who plague our lives. Only then – and each day that follows in which we are blessed to live, will we have a sense that life for each of us will get better, be more meaningful and happier as we get older.
See? That’s not asking for much!
Have a safe, sexy, healthy and happy fuckin’ 2014!

Keepin’ it…REAL!Happy-New-Year-2014

Praying for Year 2014 – Not!*

*Another presentation in the KIR continuing series of articles of the Steppin’ On The Feet Jesus Washed  Project-Mission! [SOTFJW-PM]
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nude man praying-3 2014
Knowing how hundreds of people will be going to church or staying home New Year’s Eve to pray to their deity about things they want to see in the coming year, here’s my opinion about the ineffectiveness and uselessness of prayer. Now, I don’t want to get into a huge debate about prayer but I ask that you simply think about its effectiveness for a moment.

People pray to a deity for certain things and have some hope or faith in that deity’s ability to grant them their requests. However, there is the possibility that the prayer request of one person can be counteracted by a request “sent up” by someone Prayer - helping people feel better about doing nothing - Copyelse to the same deity. A simple example would be war between opposing countries or a competition between opposing sports teams. Each side – and their benefactors, supporters and fans, pray to the same deity for a win. Now, keep in mind that if a god or goddess exists, they are such for a reason. When it comes to Mankind, that god or goddess – considered a supreme being over Man, never has to choose who will win or who will lose in anything. They also do not have to grant or honor any thought or prayer request “sent up” to them. Why? Because they are deity! That’s why I’m amused whenever people say, “God heard and answered my prayer.” I’m thinking, “Really??”

Christians need to tell me and prove to me how exactly they know what God heard. They need to explain what makes one person’s prayers more favorable over that of someone else who may have “prayed” to the same deity – for the very same blessing on their part, yet God did not answer. They also need to explain why and how God chooses which kinds of prayers to answer and which to ignore. I’m sure Christians have been challenged with such questions before.

nude man prayingYou see, even the Christian Bible says that God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34) yet Christians ignore this fact and the chosen ignorance enjoyed by deity! Worse, they create some “reason” to explain why God acts the way he does. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Christians created their god and that there is an instruction book on how to get God to act or perform. Funny when you think about it, isn’t it? Christians might want to read some Greek, Roman, Norse and African mythology stories. The behavior of the gods (created by those people) in such stories is fascinating! Oh, but wait! The god in the Bible already provides enough content in the area of deistic behavior. Never mind.

If people think about it, the similarity between how a child is looked upon by its parent is no different from how a human is looked upon by a god – and vice versa. So many Christians tell the lie and unproven fact that God answered THEIR prayer over a situation while their neighbor – whose prayer was not answered, is told, “It is God’s will” or worse, is told: “God did not answer your prayer because you asked amiss and with bad or wrong intentions.” (James 4:3) or the person Prayer is like masturbationis told: “You didn’t have enough faith (the size of a mustard seed) (Luke 17:6; Matthew 17:20) in God’s power.” These are lies and contradictions told by most Christians each and every day to justify why God does or does not do a particular thing. I’ve always found it curious that an omnipotent god has so many mortal people speaking for him.

CHECK IT: The competitive affairs of Man do not concern a god or gods (again, if there is any). Why should they? They are deity! Since the gods believe in nothing, their only concern might be YOUR belief in them – and in such belief, they take their amusement. Therefore, save your prayers – and try to do or help yourself with the will power, knowledge, and skills you have – and should consistently be improving upon…and try to remember to help your fellow man who may not be so blessed.

Keepin’ It…REAL!

I Don’t Like or Trust Iyanla Vanzant!

Iyanla Vanzant (Ronda Eva Harris) - RED XI’m sorry, but I simply cannot follow that Iyanla Vanzant (born Ronda Eva Harris) person on Facebook or on Twitter – where a request for me to follow her was made and thus prompted this article. I also question the thinking of some of the people who do follow or subscribe to her…”work”. If you are a follower of Vanzant then that questioning includes you, reader. It’s fine if you choose to follow that woman – for that is your business but you’ll get no apologies from me for writing this article.

While Vanzant’s “advice” may be good for some people, I simply do not like what I’ve seen and heard from her over the years on television and in other media sources. I do not like what she supposedly does or represents, and trust me: I’ve watched/heard more than I need to make this personal assessment – even if you don’t agree with it. I do not like Vanzant’s “know how” to “fix” someone else’s life/personal situation and I’m a bit wary of her motivational “advice”. My instinct tells me to not trust her as far as I can spit (which isn’t very far).

To each his/her own where she is concerned but never ask me to watch, listen, subscribe or follow that woman. I think I’d rather follow former U.S. president George W. Bush and that bigoted radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh first!

You are welcomed to learn who Iyanla Vanzant is and what she is about by clicking here.

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ADDENDUM:Iyanla Vanzant on Oprah I’ve long known of some of Iyanla Vanzant’s history since I first saw her on Oprah’s show many years ago – when she was a regular guest of her show. My mom loves the shit out of Oprah so her TV was always tuned to that show like clockwork every day at 4:00pm. I only know this from being home on leave when I was in the Navy. It was Oprah every goddamn weekday! God help the person watching TV in the Tucker household kitchen when my mom would walk in! She’d demand that we turn from whatever we were watching to Oprah’s show. My hatred of Oprah’s show only intensified from that bullshit! Anyway, that’s how I got to know of Vanzant being a show regular. If memory serves, Oprah and Vanzant had a falling out over the issue of Oprah and her people trying to help or trying to convinceOprah Winfrey, Dr Oz, Dr Phil Vanzant to host her own show on the Harpo Network but Vanzant did not respond in a manner suitable to Oprah and the Harpo network producers. As a result of that issue, Oprah cut the ties. When the dust settled, Vanzant would come back to Oprah’s show some years later and the hatchet or misunderstanding between them would be buried or cleared up. Now I understand that Oprah treats Vanzant like the greatest thing since sliced bread! I’m not privy to Vanzant’s supposed personal relationship with Oprah or that with Oprah’s other protegé, Dr. Phil McGraw of the Dr. Phil show.
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CHECK IT: I do not follow nor do I respect anyone willing to have or host so-called personal “help shows” on television or radio. Regardless of any disclaimers the network might post, I think television and radio “therapy” shows are demeaning to the person supposedly being “helped”. That’s why I hated Dr. Laura’s radio show (when it was on) and why I hate those doctor/medical shows, like Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz and the like. I have no respect for those hosts or for the people who are willing to put themselves and the personal business of their private lives before millions of judgmental viewers/listeners on such programs. I feel that if one is serious about getting help with a personal issue then damn it, they should go see a PRIVATE physician; not try to seek some fame by airing their shit for all to see! I have no sympathy for such people – regardless of what their issues are.//
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And now, this parody of Vanzant’s TV show, Fix My Life from one of my favorite comedians, Wanda Sykes!

Keepin’ It…REAL!

Why I Stopped Sending Greeting Cards

Christmas Greeting cards-1 (Black X)Wow! For the first time this year, my mom, who lives in Philadelphia, didn’t bitch me out for not sending her a Christmas card! Kool! That must mean things are looking up for me! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Background: This past September, my mom had her 93rd birthday. I called her to give my heart-felt birthday greeting. In that call I told her that I did not forget to send her a card. I explained that I simply was saving money – considering that I had been on a tight budget in recent years. She said, “Well, you could have gone to the Dollar Store and picked out a card, son.” I laughed and simply said, “Yes Mom, I could have done that but I preferred to simply call and talk to you, which I Dollar Storethink is better than any card I could have sent.”  When that wasn’t enough for her, I told her that with certain exceptions (noted below), I had decided to no longer buy and send cards to anyone. When she asked why, I gave her my detailed reasons (noted below). At the time of that discussion, I wasn’t sure if my mom liked my reasons. I recall her giving me some weak “ok” as she quickly changed the subject to other things. I know there are a few – perhaps many of you reading this who might be thinking that I was being cheap or somehow disrespectful towards my mom for not buying her a birthday card. Frankly, I don’t care what you think. She’s not your mom. You don’t know shit about her, about me or our relationship therefore, save your judgments! It may further “please” some of you readers to know that not only did I not send my mother – or anyone else a birthday card this year, I also did not send out Thanksgiving or Christmas cards!

Moving on…
After speaking to mom yesterday it dawned on me that she never said a word about not getting a Christmas card from me. I can only guess that the reasons I gave her four months ago finally sunk in! Regardless of what anyone thinks, my adopted reasoning regarding the buying and sending of holiday, birthday or special event greeting cards is simply this:

  1. If making a personal visit is not an option,man talking on cell phone it’s always less expensive to call and talk to mom – or any relative or dear friend, by landline or cellular phone. Since I have hundreds, if not thousands of minutes saved on my cellular account I don’t ever think about cell minutes when talking on my cell phone.
  2. A phone call is by far, cheaper than driving to a store.
  3. Per gallon, gasoline costs as much, if not more than, the price of the average greeting card.
  4. Except for those “Dollar Stores” where Top 10 Highest Gas Prices (April 2013)everything  that is not edible costs only a dollar – plus sales tax (food and drink sold there also cost a dollar but is sales tax-free here in Michigan), the average greeting card costs anywhere between $3 or $6 or more – depending on the size and design of the card.
  5. Once I arrive at the store, I must take time to choose a card, then buy and pay sales tax on that card.
    **NOTE: You incur more personal time and gas expense if you don’t find a card you like in the first store you visit and have to go elsewhere!
  6. Next, I have to locate and drive to the nearest post office – since mailboxes – like payphones, have become scarce in the last ten years.
  7. Once at the post office, I must stand in line to buy a damn stamp. I don’t have stamps atPost office line-2 home because I rarely mail anything anymore. If I need to send a letter, card or package, I’ll need to make sure those things have sufficient postage otherwise I risk having them returned by the post office. When it comes to mailing anything, nothing pisses off an American than getting a letter, card or package returned by the post office due to insufficient postage! The price of postage changes often but I rarely, if ever follow that sort of thing because, as I just said, I rarely mail anything!
  8. The drive home from the post office also involves gas costs.
  9. Mailing a greeting card – or ANYTHING for that matter, can often cause one to have a certain amount of stress (depending on what was mailed) in wondering if that card or item will arrive at the correct address, on time and intact – if it arrives anyplace at all.
  10. Regardless of what the United States Post Office (USPS), Federal Express (FedEx), United Parcel Service (UPS) and their kind advertise in your face with a smile, nothing that leaves your hands which is given to another pair of hands, no…make that SEVERALUSPS, FedEx, UPS logos pairs of human hands and some computerized machinery, is ever realistically guaranteed an accurate and safe delivery to its destination.

I began the practice of not buying and sending greeting cards in favor of placing phone calls to people I’m close to and care deeply about almost a year ago. Again, there are exceptions. Some of those would be:

  • people who are deaf or who have poor hearing;
  • people who are disabled, destitute or who for some reason, cannot afford a telephone or cell phone;
  • persons incarcerated;
  • people in the military who are deployed at sea or in the desert somewhere overseas.

I believe that if possible, a simple phone call tosenior man talking on cell phone exchange familiar and loving voices will always beat getting and looking at a cold piece of colorful hard paper. Normally, that card will sit on the mantelpiece of someone’s home, on the desk of someone’s office, taped to the wall of someone’s locker or stuck inwoman talking on cell-phone some book somewhere. That card, which often will contain words which aren’t mine/yours, will later be taken down by the recipient, shoved in some drawer or cabinet and forgotten about. Let’s just be real about that! However, the memory of a personal visit or phone call and the conversation held with the person to whom you would have otherwise sent a card, will far outlast the memory of some dry old card or the picture or words within it.

There is always a method to my reasoning, even if people disagree with it. (Again, I don’t care or give a fuck). I’m confident…no, I’m cocky enough to believe that at some point, my logic will sink in to those who hear it or read it…just like it did with my dear mother!

Keepin’ It…REAL!

President Obama, Our Flag and Nelson Mandela

U.S. Flag at half-staff in Remembrance of Nelson MandelaIt helps to know the history of your country, the rules and etiquette of your nation’s flag and the authority your nation’s leader has regarding the nation’s flag.
If you haven’t already, keep reading the internet web and/or listening to the news and social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter. There you’ll see, read and/or hear trending stories of people and pundits making a fuss over President Barack Obama’s order to lower our nation’s flag to half-staff in memory of former South African president Nelson Mandela who passed away Thursday, December 5,Barack Obama 2013. Click Nelson Mandela: A Timeline to read my post and get a quick view of his life. On that date, President Obama issued a presidential proclamation ordering our flags to be lowered to half-staff until sunset Monday, December 9, 2013. Click Presidential Proclamation – Death of Nelson Mandela to read the proclamation. There is one particular story trending where a sheriff in South Carolina is defying the president’s flags at half-staff order in his department. Read that story here. NOTE: There is no legal penalty for defying the presidential order.

Some people are saying that lowering our flag for foreign leaders is not customary – which would be true to some extent if American history of the past forty-eight years didn’t suggest otherwise. Others are saying that since Mandela was not an American citizen then President Obama is/was wrong to order that the flag of the United States be lowered in his honor. And, as has so often been the case where half-staff-flags2Barack Obama is concerned, there are those people who are jumping on the ever-moving and ever-growing Obama-hate bandwagon to add their own senseless criticism of our president against something which they know little to nothing about. All of these people apparently refuse to check facts or do any research. As usual, I’m here to set the record straight and help quell the senseless argument(s) on this non-issue!
Here are the facts:

  1. By law, the President of the United States has the authority to order the U.S. flag flown at half-staff upon the death of a foreign dignitary. Click to read the U.S. Code regarding the Flag of the United States.
  2. The rare or customary practice (these terms are debatable so take your pick) – if we are to judge American history on this issue, was most notably first put into place by:
    • President Lyndon B. Johnson – upon the death of England’s former Prime Minister Winston Churchill in 1965 
      followed by
    • President Ronald Reagan – upon the death of Egyptian President Anwar Sadat in 1981
    • President Bill Clinton – upon the deaths of Israel Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin in 1995 and of Jordan’s King Hussein bin Talal in 1999
      and
    • President George W. Bush – upon the death of Pope Paul II in 2005.

    Keep in mind that by the United States lowering its national flag for our friendly yet deceased foreign dignitaries in these situations, we show Nelson Mandela 1918-2013solidarity and respect as a nation to our allies. President Obama is/was legally and morally correct in his action in giving the order to have our nation’s flags lowered to half-staff in memory and respect of the late Nelson Mandela.

    Now, how do I know all of this? Simple. Not only did I live in all of those moments just mentioned, I also spent twenty years in the Navy and had lots of burial detail duty. I recall quite a bit about flag etiquette. I also did my homework and rechecked my dates to make sure my memory of these facts was accurate. I encourage each of you to do the same.
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    ** And now, this quick semi-related “NTK” (nice-to-know) info **
    Perhaps you’ve heard the terms half-staff and half-mast used interchangeably and wondered which term was correct.
    Here’s all you need to know:
    In American English, a flag flown halfway up its flagpole as a symbol of mourning is at half-staff  while a flag flown halfway up a ship’s mast is to signal mourning or distress and is referred to as being at half-mast.. Outside North America, half-staff is not a widely used term Flag at half-mast on ship inportand half-mast is used in reference to half-raised flags both on land and at sea. The term half-mast is also preferred in Canada for both uses, though half-staff appears more frequently there than it does outside North America.
    Reference: My personal U.S. Navy experience – supported by Grammarist.com
    Now you know!

    Keepin’ It…REAL!