Bad Porn Videos

I often watch some damn good porn videos but there are others which are bad or cause me to laugh!  As a man, I’m supposed to be visually stimulated while watching porn, not laughing my ass off!  It’s difficult for [most] men to maintain a hard-on if he’s constantly laughing! If there’s anything I hate in porn videos (other than music and the constant interference of the director) is when the participants try too damn hard to perform a particular sex act or they don’t know what they’re doing.  Geez…I could make far better videos!
Here’s my suggestions for a better [home-made] porn video: (Note the metaphors!)

  1. If the “receptacle” is tight (and just right), the chance of a “firm plug” slipping out – wrapped or unwrapped – is minimal. Plug in receptacle outletAlternatively, if the “plug” is firm and the “receptacle” is tight (and just right), the chance of the plug slipping out of the receptacle is minimal. The receptacle should give a certain Hug a plugsuction onto the plug itself Now, if the receptacle and the plug still can’t stay connected, that usually means either the receptacle is too loose to give a snug grip on the plug or the plug is not firm enough or – quite possibly the plug is too damn short.. The owners of either item need to find a compatible unit or work something else out. Anyone who has ever used an electrical appliance like a power drill or vacuum cleaner knows this. (Again, note the metaphors!)
  2. There is a difference in tickling a body cavity with the tongue and getting one’s face, mouth AND tongue all up in said body cavity. However, too much tongue tickling can put extra stress on the tongue muscles (and the tongue is one of the strongest muscles on the body) which can make cunnilingus (or anilingus/ analingus) eventually uncomfortable.
  3. Stop making ugly faces when you go down on someone – be it female or male. If you want to give oral sex to your partner, then show it!  If “it” stinks or is nasty but you still want to enjoy “it”, then it’s kool to stop, go wash “it”, then get back to giving the pleasure. Remember RobFather’s sex rule: Dirty sex is fine – sometimes; but NOBODY has ever turned away CLEAN sex! Keep it fun – but don’t insult! Get some tips on “going down” here. (Some of the techniques in that article are useful for gay men, too!)
  4. Quit with all the fake verbal sounds. Most people watching porn don’t like the repetitive and often misplaced “oohs and aahs”. That shit went out with the vintage porn of the 1970’s and 80’s! You should only be making verbal sounds as a natural response to the sex act being performed.

There’s no need to fake it anymore, people; just do it, feel it and enjoy it! If people remembered these things and do them while filming their sex acts, their videos would be taken more seriously, won’t be laughed at in its entirety, and perhaps even appreciated  by lovers of porn (like me).

Keepin’ It…REAL!

2 thoughts on “Bad Porn Videos

  1. Hi, I do believe this is an excellent blog. I stumbledupon it 😉
    I will come back once again since I book marked it.
    Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other
    people.

  2. Let me know when you start producing and directing! 🙂 I’ll be your first customer and a willing volunteer performer! Great tips!

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