I’m about to make a few of you here envious of me. Some will be able to relate because they are just as freaky as I. (You know who you are, so don’t front; just hear me out.) Others will prematurely classify this post as being “TMI” (too much information) and won’t bother to READ THE ENTIRE POST FIRST. Well, fuck those particular judgmental fucks! This ain’t for them anyway!
So check it: I have TWO (2) live-in lovers. Yeah, I know, right; this Philly boi got it like that! I know some of you had been wondering if I’m sleeping with someone. Don’t lie! In private Funnybook messages, a few of you always beat around the bush as you practically ask yourselves, “Who is RobFather-X sleeping with?” It’s kool. I’m quite flattered that some of you really want to know. Others here will be so jealous after reading this and will probably “unfriend” me on Funnybook. See, they just wish they had a pair of lovers like the ones I have! Oh well, shit happens! And here I thought that I might be able to take on at least ONE MORE lover! Wow, imagine that: a FOURSOME! Well, I’ve done foursomes hundreds of times before. Didn’t I just tell you I was freaky? Anyway, back to my pair of live-in lovers!
These two muthafuckas (a term of endearment, by the way) have been with me a long time. They know how to treat me with the utmost respect – particularly when I show and give them the same in return. They wear some of the best attire I can afford to give them…and trust me; I clean that attire weekly! I can’t have my lovers in anything dirty; not when I’m the one who gets down on top of them! They each love it when my nude body embraces them each and every night – except for those nights and/or days when I must be away for several hours, sometimes days at a time. They hate that shit! And don’t ever let me be in the middle of enjoying some good passionate body action with these two (Yeah, it IS a threesome; I said I’m freaky like that!) because whenever I get up and walk away for too long, they WILL give me the cold treatment when I return. Damn. I swear; as much as I love them (Yes, I DO love them both; don’t judge me!) sometimes I can’t win with those two! You see, I can handle the cold treatment in the hot summer time; no sweat; but NEVER, ever in the winter. As a nude sleeper (no shame because it is most comfortable for me) I need my two lovers to stay warm for me. But hell no! They don’t play that shit! They always demand full PERSONAL attention…and will give me icy cold bitterness the moment I lay my ass on top of them!
In case you were wondering, missionary and side is the preferred positions which I and one of the two lovers have agreed to always do. The other lover just wants head all the damn time! That’s all; just head. That particular lover is more demanding than the other! How does one keep up? I can’t provide that kind of service ALL the time. I’ve got other things to do; things that help me to keep both lovers attired and maintained in the manner to which they have become so well accustomed! In fact, I don’t think anyone can give head ALL the time, much as we all would like to. Yes, you read that right; I said, “WE ALL”, because EVERYBODY gives the kind of head I give! Don’t deny it! Trust me, my kind of head isn’t unique but it is universal, baby!
Anyway, my two lovers are a pair of demanding, bitchy, high maintenance creatures! Perhaps many of you know them better than me!
Their names are Bed and Pillow!